When Your Loved Does Not Want Help With Addiction
You may see your loved one falling into the pit of addiction. You may see their life falling apart and the toll the addiction is taking on them physically, mentally, and emotionally. You may see how bad their personal hygiene has become and their loss of interest in anything other than their habit.
But if they do not see it, there is a problem. They have yet to make the decision to change, the decision to become sober.
You cannot force someone into an addiction recovery center. In fact, forcing someone into rehab is probably counterintuitive because a person must truly want to enter into recovery to break their addiction.
So what can you do?
There are a few things that you can do that can help your loved one come to terms on their own with their addiction. Granted, these steps are not easy, but they are necessary if you want to help your loved one get the treatment they need.
Quit Overlooking The Addiction
You have to stop enabling your loved one with their addiction. When they are out of money, need a ride to “a friend’s house,” or fail in their obligations, they don’t cover for their actions. Do not give them a ride to a friend’s house that you really know is their dealer. Don’t give them the money to “core a bill” when you know it is going for drugs. Don’t cover for them when they miss work or other responsibilities.
Enabling your loved one’s addiction only prolongs their addiction. It gives them the stability they need to continue with their addiction.
It is tough to stop being an enabler. You will feel guilty. It is only natural to want to protect someone you love. You have to be strong. There will be consequences for your loved one when you stop providing them safe haven for their addiction.
Let The Consequences Happen
When a person is in the clutches of addiction, they often see consequences for their actions as empty threats or may not even see the results of their actions at all. Many people have loved ones covering up for them, paying their bills, fixing problems, and the consequences never “hit home.”
It is time to let the consequences happen. If your loved one is going to have their car repossessed because of non-payment, let it happen. If they lose their job because you won’t cover for them, let them lose their job.
It sounds so harsh, and it takes a lot of emotional strength to do these things. But it has to be done. Not until they can feel the consequences of their actions will a person become willing to make a change to keep them from happening again.
There is an old saying that you have to hit bottom before you can begin to climb up. This is so true when it comes to addiction.
Be Prepared For The Drama
When you stop enabling your loved one and allow the consequences to happen, there will be drama. Your loved one is going to lash out at you,. They are going to say and do things that will hurt your feelings. They will distance themselves from you. They will make threats and throw tantrums.
That is the addiction reacting to you, not them.
Be prepared. It won’t be easy. You will want to scream and yell and cry back at them. You will want to demand that they go to rehab. You may even say things that you wish you never said. It will all go away when your loved one accepts their addiction and seeks help. All of these things will not matter.
Whether you speak to a substance abuse counselor or a regular therapist, make sure that you talk to someone during this time. Facing your loved one’s addiction can be very challenging for your emotions and overall health.
Working with a counselor will help you cope with your feelings about this situation and may even provide additional insight into the addiction your loved one has. You may be amazed and pleased with the comfort you find in sharing this drama with someone who does not judge the situation but only listens.
There Will Come A Time When It Is Over
Your loved one may not enjoy the “tough love” that you have shown, but it may be just what they need to come to terms with the fact that they need drug rehabilitation. Once they have entered into a recovery program and have overcome their addiction, you will be able to build a new and lasting relationship with your loved one again.